What are your choices? If you are in a dilemma, apply the tetralemma technique with a twist to give you more options. Identify + 5 alternatives!
Who hasn’t got this little voice that undermines the self-confidence through constant criticism? Sometimes in your own voice of that of someone else’s (a parent, a teacher, a boss, ….) . The tone, volume, location of this inner voice may vary but it often has a negative impact. Sometimes the inner critic is bigger than the person it accompanies.
Sometimes it is sufficient to transform the content of what the inner critic says : instead of “You are stupid”, have the voice say “You made a mistake”. Or to modify the voice itself: : instead of your father’s severe tone, replace the voice by that of Mickey Mouse or Sylvester the Cat (with the lisp), for instance.
Most often than not, the client and I enter a mediation process with the inner critic, through full or partial embodiment or through a trance-like dialogue.
We look for the function of this inner critic and we thank it for how it has served the client (and continues to do so) when that was necessary.
We also explain that the inner critic has taken too much space and is now being counter-productive and then we look for ways in which the inner critic can still have its positive role (to push me into action, to make me be more cautious, to persevere, to become successful,….) without overshadowing all the rest.
Sometimes we need to go back in time and have a healing dialogue with the internalized (and critical) parent.